I've moved to Substack!
4 weeks ago
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
'if it was a rapist flower it deserved to die'
I have noticed lately that not only do I lead a delightfully boring life, I also seem to be aging before my time. I mean, I'm fuckin FIFTEEN with a grey hair. And I do stupid shit like miss words out of my sentences and get plates out for cups of tea. Is there such a thing as early onset dementia? If so, I'm screwed.
Apparently there's a mum at my sister's school who has dementia. She's forty-odd. With young kids. Dementia is supposed to only be for old people in nursing homes with kids that can look after them and coded locks on the doors so they can't get out but she has it. How is that fair, how? I don't know this woman, I don't even know the validity of this story (though I did hear it from Mum and she's generally reliable) but I'm still devastated for their family.
Imagine being a little kid with a mum who forgets your name, your age, your face. Imagine running up to her, arms wide for a cuddle, expectancy and innocence, only to be held at arm's length, who are you? I'm sure that they would have a loving family to support them and explain what's happening, but what could beat the pain of not being recognised by your own mother?
Imagine being the mother, being trapped in an unescapable world which gets more nightmarish day by day. Fuck, what would it be like, living day by day with the knowledge that everything's going to slip away from you and you'll be left with nothing, nothing but confusion and a family of strangers. I don't want to tempt Fate but to be honest, I would rather die than to have that happen, at least I'd die knowing who I was, who my family and friends were, that I was loved, that it's all going to be okay in the end.
Apparently dementia's hereditary, so I've probably escaped fingerscrossedtouchwood.
But what if I haven't?
Apparently there's a mum at my sister's school who has dementia. She's forty-odd. With young kids. Dementia is supposed to only be for old people in nursing homes with kids that can look after them and coded locks on the doors so they can't get out but she has it. How is that fair, how? I don't know this woman, I don't even know the validity of this story (though I did hear it from Mum and she's generally reliable) but I'm still devastated for their family.
Imagine being a little kid with a mum who forgets your name, your age, your face. Imagine running up to her, arms wide for a cuddle, expectancy and innocence, only to be held at arm's length, who are you? I'm sure that they would have a loving family to support them and explain what's happening, but what could beat the pain of not being recognised by your own mother?
Imagine being the mother, being trapped in an unescapable world which gets more nightmarish day by day. Fuck, what would it be like, living day by day with the knowledge that everything's going to slip away from you and you'll be left with nothing, nothing but confusion and a family of strangers. I don't want to tempt Fate but to be honest, I would rather die than to have that happen, at least I'd die knowing who I was, who my family and friends were, that I was loved, that it's all going to be okay in the end.
Apparently dementia's hereditary, so I've probably escaped fingerscrossedtouchwood.
But what if I haven't?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
'she love him she love him but just for a short while'
When you find your first gray hair and get spanked by some random Asian, you just know the outing's been successful.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
jesus would be the best shopping buddy
So I was reading the Bible last night, for the first time in ages. I've neglected it for a while, but that's a long story which I can't be bothered telling so let's just stick with this. And so I was reading, and I came across a section in Matthew, thought it looked interesting and so started reading (Matthew 23 if you were interested). And so basically I fell in love with Jesus again, because I had kinda lost sight of who he was and so when I read the Bible I thought he came across as, I dunno, kinda mean, but that's because I'm a douchebag and kinda neglected the part about oh, I dunno, him DYING ON THE CROSS FOR ME. I dunno. Work with me here.
I love it how he doesn't beat around the bush and just says what he's thinking. He was going through all these parables for a while, then just is like, 'yeah, so basically I'm gonna die in two days.' Then later he was like 'So... One of you guys is gonna betray me.' And everyone was like 'no, not me, I would never do something like that /cries', and then Judas was all like 'surely not I' and Jesus was all like 'nah it's you'. Then later Peter's like 'I will never betray you' and Jesus was all like 'nah you will'. You kinda get the feeling that Jesus would have been the most awesome shopping buddy, because you'd be all like 'does this look ok on me?' and he'd be all like 'nah, not really', except you wouldn't be offended because he'd find something else and it's be all like 'but this, you'd look damn fine in this' and you'd love him because you in fact do look damn fine.
It strikes me that I have a very irreligious view on all this, which slightly worries me incase God gets offended but then I realise that Jesus was pretty irreligious himself in the most awesome way possible and so yeah.
-tumbleweed-
I love it how he doesn't beat around the bush and just says what he's thinking. He was going through all these parables for a while, then just is like, 'yeah, so basically I'm gonna die in two days.' Then later he was like 'So... One of you guys is gonna betray me.' And everyone was like 'no, not me, I would never do something like that /cries', and then Judas was all like 'surely not I' and Jesus was all like 'nah it's you'. Then later Peter's like 'I will never betray you' and Jesus was all like 'nah you will'. You kinda get the feeling that Jesus would have been the most awesome shopping buddy, because you'd be all like 'does this look ok on me?' and he'd be all like 'nah, not really', except you wouldn't be offended because he'd find something else and it's be all like 'but this, you'd look damn fine in this' and you'd love him because you in fact do look damn fine.
It strikes me that I have a very irreligious view on all this, which slightly worries me incase God gets offended but then I realise that Jesus was pretty irreligious himself in the most awesome way possible and so yeah.
-tumbleweed-
'pictures of lilly made my life so wonderfullllll'
"The Icelandic Phallological Museum is devoted entirely to collecting penis specimens from all sorts of land and sea mammals. The museum has received a legally certified gift token for a future specimen belonging to Homo sapiens."
Someone please clarify: does that mean that they are going to put a human penis on display?
Hehehehehehe.
I love wikipedia. =D
edit:
"Although the museum does not yet have a Homo sapiens specimen, in the interest of advancing phallological knowledge, a patron (Páll Arason, born in 1915 and currently 94 years old) has donated, presumably posthumously, an affidavit for his penis."
Secret Life of an American Teenager
'I have been rejected by the french horn player, Amy... something or rather, and therefore have decided I am in love with her.'
Friday, July 24, 2009
"streets are uneven when you're down"
Oh Lord Oh Lord Oh Lord
Driving down a suburban street, father and daughter singing along to the radio, sun is shining, small child steps out of the shade in the middle of the road.
Shit.
Jerk of the brakes, rush of blood to the head, innocence stares at us with wide eyes.
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
The other couple watching leaps out of their car, gathers innocence up in their arms and we all wonder about what could have happened. Oblivious innocence waves his hands and frowns at the strangers, who are you?
What if it hadn't been my dad, law abiding safe driver with quick relfexes? What if it had been a hoon, racing down the streets, speeding music blaring nothing can harm me WHAM and another one bites the dust.
Innocence lost, a child's brains dashed across the road, death in suburbia.
A mother weeping, ambulance wailing, grief.
What if?
thank you Lord.
Driving down a suburban street, father and daughter singing along to the radio, sun is shining, small child steps out of the shade in the middle of the road.
Shit.
Jerk of the brakes, rush of blood to the head, innocence stares at us with wide eyes.
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
The other couple watching leaps out of their car, gathers innocence up in their arms and we all wonder about what could have happened. Oblivious innocence waves his hands and frowns at the strangers, who are you?
What if it hadn't been my dad, law abiding safe driver with quick relfexes? What if it had been a hoon, racing down the streets, speeding music blaring nothing can harm me WHAM and another one bites the dust.
Innocence lost, a child's brains dashed across the road, death in suburbia.
A mother weeping, ambulance wailing, grief.
What if?
thank you Lord.
"wake up you sleepy head put on some clothes shake up your bed"
Yesterday was the most fantastic, 'up yours, Lauren' which God has ever said to me. Leish and I were at Marion, buying some shiz. We went to Target, where she went to buy two books and her ipod.
Leisha: 'Ohh... Maybe I should shop around for cheaper prices...'
Me: 'Nope, you're buying it here.'
Leisha: 'But...'
Me: 'YOU'RE BUYING IT HERE.' -drags into checkout queue-
Then her card doesn't work. So she freaks out, and we decide to go to Big W to check everything out. And, of course, they have everything for heaps cheaper, and her card worked perfectly. I dunno, I just find that amusing, and I have nothing else to say. I have soup?
Leisha: 'Ohh... Maybe I should shop around for cheaper prices...'
Me: 'Nope, you're buying it here.'
Leisha: 'But...'
Me: 'YOU'RE BUYING IT HERE.' -drags into checkout queue-
Then her card doesn't work. So she freaks out, and we decide to go to Big W to check everything out. And, of course, they have everything for heaps cheaper, and her card worked perfectly. I dunno, I just find that amusing, and I have nothing else to say. I have soup?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
'ch-ch-ch-ch-changes'
burstmybubblegetmyheadoutofthecloudsturnmyhighhorseintofirewood
You've helped me look around and notice the world, whether you realise it or not. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're my wake up call and lucky charm and the better half of me. Literally, as we are as thin as rakes and us together equals one person and you obviously roll me in the awesome stakes. I love you, did you know? :)
You've helped me look around and notice the world, whether you realise it or not. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're my wake up call and lucky charm and the better half of me. Literally, as we are as thin as rakes and us together equals one person and you obviously roll me in the awesome stakes. I love you, did you know? :)
"all you need is love all you need is loooove love love is all you need"
Love is tying up her shoelaces when everyone's looking.
"make believe that you don't see the tears just let me grieve in silence coz each time i see you i just start to cryyyyyyy walk on byyyyyyy"
Mum got my wii today. I carefully undressed it, caressed it softly and whispered sweet nothings into its disk slot. Three months seperation is going to be torture.
WAIT FOR ME MY DARLING.
WAIT FOR ME MY DARLING.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
"is it me, for a moment? the stars are falling"
Fingers crossed that Mum has bought the wii today. Yes, thrilling, shut the fuck up Leisha, just because you can think of stuff to blog about.
Off to buy his present. >:D
Why are we compelled to inflict pain on the ones we love?
In some cases, it's because I'm buying my boyfriend, whom I seriously love with all my heart, a food stuff that he has sworn he'd never eat. I also made him promise that he'd eat it. He's scared.
But in other cases it could just be a thoughtless word, an intentionally spiteful comment, doing something, anything, that makes them cry. You love them with all your heart, yet you lapse, slip into that selfish part of you that you try so hard to hide but it still comes out, all the time, Jekyll and Hyde style. doctorjimmyandmisterjimwhenimpilledyoudontnoticehim
You're aware that what you're saying or doing will just cause them pain, will bring tears to their eyes and a lump to their throat but you do it anyway. whyohwhy
It doesn't mean you're bad. Everyone does it, don't they?
Human = Fail.
Off to buy his present. >:D
Why are we compelled to inflict pain on the ones we love?
In some cases, it's because I'm buying my boyfriend, whom I seriously love with all my heart, a food stuff that he has sworn he'd never eat. I also made him promise that he'd eat it. He's scared.
But in other cases it could just be a thoughtless word, an intentionally spiteful comment, doing something, anything, that makes them cry. You love them with all your heart, yet you lapse, slip into that selfish part of you that you try so hard to hide but it still comes out, all the time, Jekyll and Hyde style. doctorjimmyandmisterjimwhenimpilledyoudontnoticehim
You're aware that what you're saying or doing will just cause them pain, will bring tears to their eyes and a lump to their throat but you do it anyway. whyohwhy
It doesn't mean you're bad. Everyone does it, don't they?
Human = Fail.
"my darling you will never know how elegant you'll always be to me"
Love is sweeter than pepsi and stronger than diamonds.
"we are living in a material world and i am a material girl"
fdklasjhgkafhgtirufhytkdfjshgkfdytrdfhjgadkhfsddaksfjhf
You know what shits me off? When you find the most perfect thing you could have used for your assignment, and it turns out to be something you have to pay for, or a book, or something that is not freely accessible. I have traipsed around the internet trying to find something for a fricken psychology assignment, but no, every completely amazing resource is a BOOK. NOT HELPFUL WHEN IT'S DUE THE NEXT DAY. I am on the verge of despairing and drowning myself in a long, hot shower. Tempting. Or even just giving up and going to bed.
School is a chore at the moment. I used to love it, especially early in the year. I don't know what was propelling me on back then but I've completely lost it now. The thought of double Nutrition tomorrow is making me want to cry. I love the subject, it is interesting, but I really don't want to face like nearly two hours of sitting and listening to talking and taking notes and watching the clock and thinking about him, nothing but him, because I have a one track mind that occasionally verges off into subjects like soup and my body heat but generally comes back to him. Am I pathetic? Yes. Obviously. Oh god my foot has gone numb.
Ugh that feels horrendous.
What I want: a Wii.
More specifically:
a wii
two controllers
a nunchuck
wii sports
wii play
big family games
big beach sports
carnival minigolf
mario kart oh look the blood's returning to my limbs
animal crossing: let's go to the city
mario party 8
super mario galaxy
okami
sonic wii charge and wheel pack
So basically I want a lot of expensive shit.
You know what shits me off? When you find the most perfect thing you could have used for your assignment, and it turns out to be something you have to pay for, or a book, or something that is not freely accessible. I have traipsed around the internet trying to find something for a fricken psychology assignment, but no, every completely amazing resource is a BOOK. NOT HELPFUL WHEN IT'S DUE THE NEXT DAY. I am on the verge of despairing and drowning myself in a long, hot shower. Tempting. Or even just giving up and going to bed.
School is a chore at the moment. I used to love it, especially early in the year. I don't know what was propelling me on back then but I've completely lost it now. The thought of double Nutrition tomorrow is making me want to cry. I love the subject, it is interesting, but I really don't want to face like nearly two hours of sitting and listening to talking and taking notes and watching the clock and thinking about him, nothing but him, because I have a one track mind that occasionally verges off into subjects like soup and my body heat but generally comes back to him. Am I pathetic? Yes. Obviously. Oh god my foot has gone numb.
Ugh that feels horrendous.
What I want: a Wii.
More specifically:
a wii
two controllers
a nunchuck
wii sports
wii play
big family games
big beach sports
carnival minigolf
mario kart oh look the blood's returning to my limbs
animal crossing: let's go to the city
mario party 8
super mario galaxy
okami
sonic wii charge and wheel pack
So basically I want a lot of expensive shit.
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